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Weird, I'm trying to think deeper and I keep getting caught just out of the kiddie end of the pool.
A few months ago I was in a play, Sherwood. There was a girl in that play who it seemed like I was going to be good friends with but a few days before opening night she stopped smiling when I said hello and started looking at me like I disgusted her with my presence. I had thought that I had lost her respect when I had used a word incorrectly, that I was posing - trying to sound smarter than I was.
We were in Midsummer together and she treated me the same way, the animosity was gone but she didn't smile. Last week she joined us for Swing Club, I danced with her and she seemed to have a good time. We both live in Eagle River so I offered to driver her home.
She got out of the car and then stopped me and apologized for behaving like a bitch for the past few months. "May I ask why?" "It was nothing, I'm just shallow." "Shallow about what?" "I -I don't have the courage to say." "It's all right hun."
She told me tonight what it was. I had assumed that it could only have been one of four things: 1) I was too ugly 2) Too fat 3) Too stupid or 4) I was too gay. Bonus points if you figure out which before I say it. The week she stopped being friendly was the same week I added her to my MySpace, and what do they have on your profile? That's right children, say it with me, sex-u-al ori-en-tation. It turns out she didn't realize I was Bi and when she did it made her uncomfortable. That play was the most open I've been with non-friends. For the love of Saint Pete, on St. Paddy's day I came to rehearsal in my "no one knows" T-shirt (it was green and I look ok in it). Wayne called me a lesbian in front of the whole cast. I asked James since he goes to the same school as her if he knew my Ex, "Sariah". We were talking about play houses and I mentioned Mad Myrna's - our one gay bar, a girl asked why gays would have their own bar "I mean doesn't the Bible say being gay is wrong", to which I curtsied and said snidely "Sorry for offending your beliefs".
Anyway, she's gotten over her anti-gay idiocy, just in time for her to move to the lower 48. But I'm surprised, shouldn't I be upset that she was/is a bigot? But I'm not, I think it's a pity she wasn't comfortable with who I am but I don't hold it against her. Like with Justin, on the way to visit his female friends he specifically told me to check out his ex's butt, he said it was very nice. Then when we left he asked me what I thought. I did the polite thing of, they're very nice. "And?" "Very nice and sweet." But he wanted to more than that for I went "Fine" and started going through the girls and commenting on how nice their personalities were, or how some of them had lovely physical attributes but ultimately I wouldn't date any of them. He was a wee bit uncomfortable. He said he'd had straight girls critique his friends before but none of them had ever done it like I did, like I "would be interested in dating them". Well no shit, I am bisexual.
I've just been surrounded by so many open, gay accepting people that I forget there are people who will dislike, even hate me for who I would choose to sleep with. God, the real world is gonna suck.
Enough thinking, time for something mindless. Where was that Cabot book?
A few months ago I was in a play, Sherwood. There was a girl in that play who it seemed like I was going to be good friends with but a few days before opening night she stopped smiling when I said hello and started looking at me like I disgusted her with my presence. I had thought that I had lost her respect when I had used a word incorrectly, that I was posing - trying to sound smarter than I was.
We were in Midsummer together and she treated me the same way, the animosity was gone but she didn't smile. Last week she joined us for Swing Club, I danced with her and she seemed to have a good time. We both live in Eagle River so I offered to driver her home.
She got out of the car and then stopped me and apologized for behaving like a bitch for the past few months. "May I ask why?" "It was nothing, I'm just shallow." "Shallow about what?" "I -I don't have the courage to say." "It's all right hun."
She told me tonight what it was. I had assumed that it could only have been one of four things: 1) I was too ugly 2) Too fat 3) Too stupid or 4) I was too gay. Bonus points if you figure out which before I say it. The week she stopped being friendly was the same week I added her to my MySpace, and what do they have on your profile? That's right children, say it with me, sex-u-al ori-en-tation. It turns out she didn't realize I was Bi and when she did it made her uncomfortable. That play was the most open I've been with non-friends. For the love of Saint Pete, on St. Paddy's day I came to rehearsal in my "no one knows" T-shirt (it was green and I look ok in it). Wayne called me a lesbian in front of the whole cast. I asked James since he goes to the same school as her if he knew my Ex, "Sariah". We were talking about play houses and I mentioned Mad Myrna's - our one gay bar, a girl asked why gays would have their own bar "I mean doesn't the Bible say being gay is wrong", to which I curtsied and said snidely "Sorry for offending your beliefs".
Anyway, she's gotten over her anti-gay idiocy, just in time for her to move to the lower 48. But I'm surprised, shouldn't I be upset that she was/is a bigot? But I'm not, I think it's a pity she wasn't comfortable with who I am but I don't hold it against her. Like with Justin, on the way to visit his female friends he specifically told me to check out his ex's butt, he said it was very nice. Then when we left he asked me what I thought. I did the polite thing of, they're very nice. "And?" "Very nice and sweet." But he wanted to more than that for I went "Fine" and started going through the girls and commenting on how nice their personalities were, or how some of them had lovely physical attributes but ultimately I wouldn't date any of them. He was a wee bit uncomfortable. He said he'd had straight girls critique his friends before but none of them had ever done it like I did, like I "would be interested in dating them". Well no shit, I am bisexual.
I've just been surrounded by so many open, gay accepting people that I forget there are people who will dislike, even hate me for who I would choose to sleep with. God, the real world is gonna suck.
Enough thinking, time for something mindless. Where was that Cabot book?
