![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
(no subject)
Feb. 6th, 2006 05:00 pmI have a feeling things could go terribly wrong with Sariah. At prom I was fascinated by her company, I thought she was a pretty young woman who, for no apparent reason I could see, was showing me affection. For three days after those few hours together I was in la-la-land, drawing pictures and imagining staring into her face while we danced. I pictured soft kisses and slow caresses. I should have known something was odd then.
I was eager to see her on Saturday but I wasn't nervous like you would expect to be when meeting a crush. I happily held her hand and felt a bubble well up inside me when she spoke japanese or looked adorable talking to her sister. But my skin didn't tingle at the touch of her lips on my hand, as it has when Sierra has done the same. My heart didn't start thumping so loud I felt weak, as it did with Brian. And though I can feel her weight and warmth against my body it is only the comfort of skin to skin, not the tight heat of sex.
But she is beautiful, I find her far more attractive than I ever found Brian, and she makes me smile without effort. My heart didn't thrill with Brian until after we had kissed, hopefully this will be the same. Please, oh please. Whenever I make a wish I ask that everyone in the world may experience one day of perfect happiness, one day in a lifetime to remember and cherish. And when I am selfish I have asked for someone to love me, I was sent Brian. I felt guilty for not feeling toward him what I knew I should, so when that ended I asked for someone I could love who would love me, I think that person is Sariah. I think, I hope. My wishes keep being answered. Brian, Sariah, and even last night I was worried about teaching because I felt miserable, so I mentioned how nice it would be if we had a snow day. Today we did.
Is someone listening? Have I sold my soul? Is this just good luck? I just don't know. Please, if I may ask for more, and I'm sure I don't deserve it. Please, may Sariah and I share a passionate, happy relationship and when it ends, as I'm sure it will some day, may it not be for a long time from now and may we end on happy, gentle terms. Thank you ~ Jessica
I was eager to see her on Saturday but I wasn't nervous like you would expect to be when meeting a crush. I happily held her hand and felt a bubble well up inside me when she spoke japanese or looked adorable talking to her sister. But my skin didn't tingle at the touch of her lips on my hand, as it has when Sierra has done the same. My heart didn't start thumping so loud I felt weak, as it did with Brian. And though I can feel her weight and warmth against my body it is only the comfort of skin to skin, not the tight heat of sex.
But she is beautiful, I find her far more attractive than I ever found Brian, and she makes me smile without effort. My heart didn't thrill with Brian until after we had kissed, hopefully this will be the same. Please, oh please. Whenever I make a wish I ask that everyone in the world may experience one day of perfect happiness, one day in a lifetime to remember and cherish. And when I am selfish I have asked for someone to love me, I was sent Brian. I felt guilty for not feeling toward him what I knew I should, so when that ended I asked for someone I could love who would love me, I think that person is Sariah. I think, I hope. My wishes keep being answered. Brian, Sariah, and even last night I was worried about teaching because I felt miserable, so I mentioned how nice it would be if we had a snow day. Today we did.
Is someone listening? Have I sold my soul? Is this just good luck? I just don't know. Please, if I may ask for more, and I'm sure I don't deserve it. Please, may Sariah and I share a passionate, happy relationship and when it ends, as I'm sure it will some day, may it not be for a long time from now and may we end on happy, gentle terms. Thank you ~ Jessica
