May. 13th, 2008 05:07 pm
polyhorde: (Default)
[personal profile] polyhorde
It's quite odd to think that the skill set that comes easiest, the one I am most comfortable with and typically derive the most overall enjoyment from is the same skills required by mothers. I like to think I'd be a good mother - I'm loving, tender, patient, calm in a crisis, relatively organized, playful, a good storyteller, a good listener, a good cook. I've been a teacher an surrogate mother to my friends since middle school. Most people use me as an advice columnist and I'm more than happy to help . . .
Why is it that at twenty I'm thinking about babies? I have no career future, I'm unmarried and likely to remain so, I'm barely more than a child myself but still I want . . . . .
It would be a nightmare that would utterly absorb my life for 20 years at least. I'll be exhausted, irritable, aching, I'll grow resentful and bitter, and hate my life and wish I had done something with it before giving it up to these screaming hellions.
But then I think about first steps, first laugh, first word. Watching dreadful school plays and applauding madly at the end. Helping build science fair projects. Sewing Halloween costumes and holding hands as we go knock on doors. Teaching them to bake cookies and Macaroni and Cheese. Watching then hide behind me the first time they meet a 6 foot tall rat (Mickey Mouse). Watching my mother coo over them while my dad joshes my husband. Playfully grilling the first boy who comes to pick her up for a date.
*sigh* Too young, just too young.

Date: 2008-05-14 08:11 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
Not necessarily too young. How many kids are planning on having? One and you can still go out and do lots of things. Two is pretty much a full time job. Three or more, and you start pacing so the older ones watch the younger ones, so the workload does not increase much with extra kids.

But there's also this: If I have a kid at 28, I'm going to be thirty-three and trying to keep up with a five year old. I'm going to be forty-three when the oldest kid first starts learning to drive, and around fifty, eyeing my retirement account and wanting to build that up, at the same time they start college and wanting tuition.

And if I marry someone (in my book, an absolute requirement before any theoretical children), chances are they're going to be older - which means we'll be pushing retirement and probably telling the kids to foot it themselves, get scholarships, because we don't want to work til seventy to foot their education. It also means he's going to be, if we have more than one kid, pushing forty and wrangling small children (a very energy-intensive job).


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